Harriet's Story

Harriet and I started working together through an unusual root. She had been offered coaching as part of a collaborative project she was working on. But as often happens when someone is offered coaching as part of work, and as she shares, she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Whether she needed it or what it would bring to her life.

She was doing "fairly well" (as she puts it) with career as a blogger, influencer and mum of 3. Why would she need coaching?

Often when we stop for a moment and take stock we can see what is really going on, rather than the 'getting by mode' which many of us live by daily.

For Harriet "the reality was ...I was struggling rather a lot to maintain my passion for my business whilst I worked myself up and stifled my own creativity." Not a great place to be for someone who has to create content as part of her work.

So we started there with her coaching and, well, I'll let Harriet share her coaching story with you...

"I remember the morning of my first coaching session with Jules I really had to question whether or not this was going to be for me, after all, I didn't really think I *needed* coaching. I was doing fairly well in my career, I wasn't struggling too much to keep my swan like composure with the feet going like the clappers under the surface as I glided along.

The reality is, whilst I felt that way, I was a bit more like a duck that had been playing chicken in the road and staggered back on to the lake than a swan. I was struggling rather a lot of maintain my passion for my business whilst I worked myself up and stifled my own creativity.

After my first session I came away feeling lighter and much more relaxed with a renewed sense of self-confidence and ability.

Just one session.

It started off with a gentle challenging of my language towards myself, I'm a character that feels guilty when I sit down and relax, I'm someone who scolds myself with the word "should" a lot.

"I SHOULD be doing this" or "I SHOULD have done that".

Initially Jules set me up with a task that every time I used the word "should" I would fine myself to break the cycle of self-scolding. I very quickly realised that I was spending a fortune and my family took great joy in pointing out that I was doing it! It was time to stop saying "I should do that" and instead ask "does that need doing now? Ok, let's have half an hour to break up my day and go for a walk, then I will do that because I will feel fresher". It changed the way I pressure myself to absolute burnout.

Jules also challenged me to set myself realistic expectations as opposed to the huge expectations I had imposed upon myself that just weren't going to happen. I like setting goals, but the goals I set are often entirely unachievable which leaves me with a sense of failure and feeling discouraged. I like to give myself a "challenge" but learning the difference between "challenge" and "unrealistic" was key for me to move forwards.

We set goals for the month to work towards a larger goal, setting realistic targets but also meaningful steps that would help me achieve my goals. It's all well and good to have a goal but with no idea how to actually achieve it? Well that is pointless isn't it!?

As the sessions went on we realised that I have a habit of looking backwards at things that I *used* to do without ever really appreciating the changes that have taken place in my life.

Jules highlighted to me the importance of celebrating my wins, no matter how small. I hadn't ever really realised that I simply DON'T celebrate my wins at all, hardly ever in fact.

We took the time to talk about writing things down instead of just assuming that I would remember them, physically writing them down in a note book and coming off my phone from time to time.

It made a HUGE difference, encouraged me to physically see what I'm ticking off and allowed my freedom from jumping back into various apps and losing focus.

Since working with Jules I feel like I've become so much more focused and passionate about what I do, I'm not constantly trying to do things the way I used to, but instead recognising change and feeling proud of the changes I've made.

Life coaching is something that I was sceptical about but I feel like I've come away with the tools to make small changes that have a big impact in how I treat myself.

Harriet Shearsmith
Jules Wyman
Jules Wyman is a woman who dreams of being out of a job. Until then, she's on a mission as a Confidence Coach to help people have faith in themselves and replace meaningless quick fixes with authentic living.Her clients end up going for what they really want in life, from changing career to changing countries.
She's become one of the UK's top coaches in this field by following her own path to authentic confidence, as well as spending thousands of hours studying self-belief and the human brain.
Find out more here
© Jules Wyman - Positive Belief 2022